Have To

I never told you
I should have already told you
But I will, hopefully, someday soon,
I will tell you it all,
All that I saw

I don't know what was it that I saw
But I saw it all
I just did not told you
For some reason I also don't know
But with all that's left of my soul,
If I have the chance, I will,
I will show
And I hope to see the forms
Behind this strange glow

I don't expect you to understand
Why I was so scared
I can't complain, about the killing silence
If you don't talk back, when I call
Don't even know why you still see me, after all
I'm a mess, and I'm sorry,
But that's what I am,
It might be not enough,
But I really do the best I can

I don't expect you to understand
How I miss you
When you are away
And why I miss you that way
But, what else can I say?

You fill my feeble being with your overwhelming light,
All your world, gives me strenght to fight
I'm not sure if I deserve such prize
But I won't argue, not this time

And when we meet,
I hope I can tell you
Exactly what I saw

I don't know what was it that I saw,
But I saw it all, even before the last fall,
If you let me share it with you,
I will tell you it all,
But what's behind,
This strange glow?

I just want you to know
I'm sorry, don't understand why you still even worry
About me, don't understand how, why you still see me
I'm trying to be better,
But I will still be what I am,
A broken jar, so long ago
But I really do the best I can
I'm sorry, I will understand,
When you go

Deadly Silence

It's not confortable, definitely brings no peace
This deadly silence just makes the inner enemy increase,
Remembers me how all this pain and these voices will never cease
Alone and broken, I yelled for help, untill my voice died
Yeah I'm a loser, I'm weak
But at least I tried

It became clear, how it all disappeared,
And no one was going to rescue me,
Or even talk to me
So I talk to them, as I can no longer ignore them
The inner enemies, keeping me strong against the enemies out there,
The only way to survive dwelling in this hell, surrounded by them
All the enemies, out there to get me,
All my friends, everyday more away,
Maybe I should just let them be,
Maybe I should just let them live in peace,
And make it all cease,
All the little that's still left of me

It's not something I can avoid, thrown in the void
Definitely a weak loser who can't make it alone
Just a virus, just a problem
Yeah, but at least I admit it, I admit it

I've failed life, I've failed death,
Just a collection of flaws, spawn of all human sickness,
I wish I was wrong, when I was that child staring at the future,
And looking away in despair, realizing there was no future at all,
It was just time bombs in endless countdown, exploding one by one,
Now it's all gone

I wish I was wrong, but how else could it be?
I always knew I would end up that way
With no more boards to play,
No place to stay
A pariah, wasted, with nothing left to say
Completely alone, I always knew everyone would go away,
One by one
Why would they stay, anyway?

I know I'm just a mistake, a disease
But I always did my best
Just wish I was allowed to rest
But there's no one to hear if I need to speak,
There's nothing left for me,
I wonder, how can I get out of here?
Too much noise in my head,
And this deadly silence, slaying me
Will it ever cease?
I will walk, someone just show me the door, please

Ghostly Thing

Close my eyes,
And it all fade to grey
Try to keep my eyes open,
And nothing goes away

Engraved in my soul, all the bloodline curses, all the lies and the crimes,
The dead voices in my head, cutting deep,
Ghosts ready to attack, crawling in my sleep

Into my tomb, my spirit cries in loneliness
And all these tears will only serve to drown me
Buried in this tomb, scratching the dirt in agony,
There is no air in here, but I still breathe,
Craving for some life, everywhere I went to, there was only mayhem
Finally I realize, not dead, not alive,
Just another ghost, I'm one of them....

A hungry spectre that never had satisfaction,
Thrown into this world only for one action,
Obsolete, looking for a distraction
To avoid the smell of putrefaction,
A portrait of decay, born stray,
Just a ghost, misunderstood

Look into my eyes, just emptiness
All I ever was has faded away
I disappeared, but somehow I'm still here
Trapped in this purgartory, I scream but seens like nobody can hear me

The pain only grows, time gets more and more slow,
As I cease to exist, it becomes clear,
The reason why I was sent here,
Just for this one action, a pale reflection,
Raised and prepared,
To serve the purposes of Death,
To kill, all that blood, to spill,
To be released from my grave, transcend all space,
To drown and desintegrate, in the spiral of my own darkness

Into the wounds, I beg for the end of this loneliness,
Invisible, why would anyone see me?
I guess someday, I was someone,
Got too old, whatever it was, I can't seen to remember anymore
But these ghosts are always around, whispering in my ear,
It's something I can't ignore, I speak, but as one of them, who would hear me?
It's now quite clear, once my mission is accomplished,
I shall destroy this cage of flesh, and get free,
There is nothing left for me in here

This is a only and obvious reaction,
Chemical chains of rolling void fraction,
Running out of time and distractions,
To ignore the stench of my putrefaction,
Undead and pathetic ghoul with only pain as a sensation,
A lost figure in the earthling station,
Now I drown,
In my tears of blood

Kill the People

Why don't they die?
Why don't they just die?
Wandering around, with their annoying, zombified white noises
Their fucking plastic laughs, smiles and voices
Human scum, if only, if only I had a gun
I would blow all their heads out, one by one,
And my smile, my laughs, would be real ones,
While I watched them beg for their pathetic, miserable lives,
The fear on their eyes,
Their brains splattered, and all that blood to spill,
It gets me more and more hungry, to kill, kill, kill
Kill the people, kill, rejoice in mayhem,
Kill all the scumbags around me, kill all them

It's all just a lie
They are all just a lie
So why, why they don't die?
They get sick, they are so self - destructive, and imbecile, but still...
Still they don't fucking die!
Guess I will be one who will have to make all that filthy blood spill
Kill, kill, Kill all the people
In a way or another, sooner or later,
Kill, I will

Fucking annoying low lives
Waste of space, and just that,
Reached the limit, just fuck with me one more time,
Just give me one more reason,
And I will cut off your fucking tongue so you will no longer speak any more shit,
I will rip out your beating heart straight from your chest, than I will slit your throath,
Then, finally, silence
The end of all violence, kill you all, and I did not forgot about you, bitch,
I know where you live, and one day I will cut you into really small pieces,
Because well, you just asked for it

Kill all them, bloody desires, mayhem
Too late now, to rewind somehow
You will all regret, just before you meet my old friend Death
I will paint these walls with your blood,
Just to think about it, it feels so good
I will really enjoy that,
You will have to take them all, sorry about that, Death

But now it's just a matter of time, your demise will soon arrive
Kill, kill, I really need to
I will kill them all, can no longer ignore the call
So kill, kill, I will, in the most gruesome ways,
And I have so, so many ways to kill you,
Now I see how murder can be the only truth

Die!
Die already, why don't you just die?
Spare my time, you are already a walking dead anyway,
So just go to your damn coffin, and get out of my way
What? You need help to get to your grave?
Okay then, no problem, I will bury you there, you dirty plague

Kill, kill, I will,
So much stinky, filthy, human blood to spill,
I will be so glad, when I finally see you all dead,
Burn all your disgusting corpses,
Reduce all your useless flesh, to ashes,
Too late now, too late now,
Death, the sweet stench of Death,
So glad, I will be so glad, soon, quite soon,
Human blood spilled in every room,
The end of violence,
No more human noise,
Just silence

Sooner than you expect,
Can't stop it now, not anymore
Kill the people, I really need to
What else could I do?
Kill, I will,
So much, so much stinky, filthy, human blood to spill

Cosmic Casino

In the circles of fire, in eternal spin
Guilty in display, holding on,
In the concept of sin
Hurricane, no one else to blame,
You are the only one in the frame,
Still so thin, it all comes down to lose or to win

Watch all the roulletes, as they pin
Colourful dreams, not quite what it seens
Caught by the waves, wake up in the sea of mistakes
Do you have what it takes?

A broken wing, too damn old
Reduced to ashes, it never stops, Phoenix proccess,
I'll just laught, I'll just explode,
Let's see if you are really bold

The trick of the Hourglass, the way we see how it will pass,
It's clearly broken, something wa stolen
As they try to confuse, and abuse,
Let the flames consume, explode the bomb, it can no longer be defused
So many sirens

Legions proclaimed, new melody in the cleansing
Just follow the waves, no more mistakes,
If you really have what it takes

You know, so abused
The belief in disbelief,
To bring some relief, so confused

Let it all now be consumed,
I'll just explode, natural born time bomb,
I'll just explode, as I decode
Total beast mode

No guilt at all, no mercy,
It does not matter,
It's meant to be, forever
In display, all lined up to pray,
Easy prey, time to play,
To break all these jars of clay,
Straight with the waves, words like swords,
Such winds, so much better

Disappear, no more fear,
Just floating in here
Somewhere, but why would anybody care
Now that we got there,
All we can do is to stare
Reunited essence, overwhelming presence
So much violence

Outtasight

Just wanted to have some fun
Did not see the gun
Now I gotta run
(I'm not the only one)

Undone, all gone,
Become, become, become
Ceiling of plastic stars, light of a toxic sun
I'm always staring at the barrel of the gun,
So I run, run, I run,
Would not you do the same?
No, I won't be the one to blame

Just wanted to have some fun
I thought reality was one
I thought I could be someone
But I'm just No One,
And it's alright, it's alright

I had to pay the very high price,
For this crime of mine,
Now the skies are open wide,
I get outtasight, outtasight,
To find, some peace of mind

Chewing gun
Waiting for someone
Now that it's all said and done,
I'm gone, to become, become, become....
The need of a villain, for you to blame
Out of time, just wait in the line

When my train arrives, I'm jumping aboard
I did not see the gun, if it was you,
Would not you do the same?
So I run, run, I run
To become, become, become,
Outtasight, outtasight

Too Sick

Go ahead
Make my day
Just say all the shit you always say
Whatever you say, will go away, anyway
I'm on the highway, never going to stop,
I'll go all the way

I feel so sick,
Never felt that sick before
There's no more resources,
No way to ignore,
It's now or never,
I just can't take it anymore

So go ahead,
Make my day
All I need is a trigger,
And you make it so very easy,
So keep doing this shit, day after day,
I'm ready, then just poke me again, and I'll blow you away

I feel so sick, feel so sick
I had enough of all this shit
I'm not the one you think I am

I see right through your scary eyes,
All your masks falling one by one, and you are so ugliness and undone
It's useless to pretend, this road have reached the end,
You are baked, naked, now everyone, not only me,
Can see, right through all your disguises,
So you better run, for you can no longer hide
No, not this time

Now you will pay the price,
As I leave you behind, I'll leave all this shit behind,
I already did my time
Now it's your turn, you won't escape
No, not this time

I need a life, I need a life
It took me so much, but I finally realized
I'm running out of time, swimming and dying,
Trying to swim the tide, as it finally arrived

I had enough of feeling sick, had enough of all this shit,
Now I really snapped, will reply to every attack,
Will give it all back, you think I'm weak,
Well, I look weak, but just test me, one more time, just go ahead
I'm sure, you will regret,
Then let's see who's weak

Everything in here is sick, everything in here is shit,
I'm so sick, I'm sick of you as you are sick of me,
I do what I can, I am just a man,
And I will be what I have to be,
I will never be the one you think I am,
You have no idea of who I am,
And what I can,
What I can
Just go ahead, and you will see,
Who I really am
And what I can,
What I can