Maybe I Should Just Leave

Since day one
All the hostility towards me
All the lies
Guided by hope, I wanted to believe
But now I see

I failed all the time
I keep falling all the time
I have no right, of a real life
No more lying, I despite
My own company
I hate my fucking guts
Maybe I should just leave!

They were right
All this time
I am nothing but a problem
And I am going nowhere
Too sick
No reason to breathe
As I just bleed

Nobody really needs me
Too damaged, need to be free
See no future
See only the mockery of fate
So misplaced
Too sick of your world, too sick of me
Why am I even still here?
Maybe I should just leave!

Dear Ana

You made a vow
So you need to be strong
Resist, control
Time fading away too slow
Can't seen to feed my soul, so

Just drink more water
And burn it all, burn it all
Salvation, on starvation
Freedom, on starvation

I pledge to Ana

In Silence

Desperation and desolation
Took me over
I was alone with my ghosts
Yelling at me repeatedly
That there is no point in staying
Than there is nothing left for me here
And I can't ignore them for they have the facts
And I only have a collection of big failures and broken illusions
So it's obvious that I should just disappear

Then I called and asked for help
And silence was my answer
They have a life to live
And I am just a ghost, empty and lost
With only the constant voices of my own ghosts to keep me company

I was forsaken here, I will keep trapped here
Purgatory, Sanatory
No present, no future
No life, no death
Just nothing, just the silence, emptiness and loneliness

I better get used to it, for it's my destiny
What ' s left of me will fade too and I will die here
So I better get used to this silence
And to have the ghosts as my company
It's so scary here, and nobody is gonna save me
(I thought you would save me)
But there is no future for me

I will just watch what's left of me fade away too
Since there's nothing else I can do
I will just disappear, in silence
Nobody will hear my agony, in silence
Alone, my death sentence, in silence