Disappeared

I´m fading away, more and more, everyday
I look around, I search inside myself
And I find nothing, but emptiness,
This time it seens, I can´t find a way
Everyday, my future looks more and more grey

I lost myself, I´m nowhere to be found
I´ve lost everything, there is nothing left but confusion and pain
I keep on dying, still trying, but just breathing in vain

I hear Death´s calling me, all the time
The calling, more and more clear
Always around me, I feel my end is near

Whatever, I don´t care
Earth was never my home anyway, just a lair
I never wanted to be here in first place
I am nothing but a mistake
Time to fix it, time to erase

Fading away, everything has gone away
I am nothing but a spectre, a pale shadow, of what I used to be
I try to find myself, but I´m no longer here

Everyday, every minute, every second, all the time
Haunted by ghosts, attacked by my own mind
Every night, I hope to the last one
I must get away, must make my head stop
Must make the pain go away,
Must cease to bleed,
Must set my spirit free

It was never so clear
There is nothing left here for me
And I´m so tired, no longer wired
Death´s calling me, my end is getting near
Just have to make it official, after all
I am no longer here
I have already disappeared

               

Resolution

It seens like you do it in purpose
Just to mess up with my mind
Maybe it´s a game, but after all, is not it all just a game?
What a shame
And I see it, and I realize
But still, I´m around all the time

Brought me back to life
Just to kill me again
Sometimes you are so close, sometimes you are so far away
I´m now too tired to play,
And too tired of pain

I will soon be gone, forever gone
I´m going home
Don´t know if you will miss me, probably not
Anyway, it does not matters anymore
This ghost will no longer be ignored

The same way I appeared from nowhere,
I will disappear
You don´t need me near, you don´t need me anymore
And this ghost will no longer be ignored

I Gave Up, Finally

All this time, all these years
I kept making the same mistake
Always trying to communicate,
Always trying to establish a connection
But I failed, just another failure for my vast collection

No matter how loud I speak
It´s like if I was ghost, it´s like I was not even there
I always did my best, always tried to make you proud
But whatever I do, whatever I say
You just don´t seen to care

I´m doing time, and would it be my crime
Not being the first one to born?
Or was it being born?
Whatever, anyway, I´m torn

All this time, all these years
I did all I could to have your respect, to be your friend
But no matter how many times, or how many ways I tried to explain
You could never understand….

So I finally gave up
I´m just your problem, your mistake
It will ever be this way, I won´t try to change it anymore
Can´t keep on dealing with the pain, of being ignored
I will give you, all the peace
Because I will speak no more, my voice has finally ceased

I said and did all I could
I always did the best I could
I´m sorry if it was not enough for you
I never wanted to be here, in first place
I´m only here because I´m your mistake
I´m just your unwanted problem

 I tried to fix it, you should have let me jump off that window
So we both would be free
It would all be already solved,
I will never understand why the hell you saved me
Now we are both full of problems…..

All this time, all these years
I tried to establish a connection
I tried to get close to you, and it was denied
So I´m stopping now, I can´t go on dealing with rejection
I woke up from denial, anything I do about it will be in vain
So I will just have to find a way, to learn to deal with this pain

So I finally gave up
I know I did all I could
I know I did my best
Now I will let it be, now I will let it rest
You were always around, but it´s like you are not really here
I´m right by your side, and still you don´t see my heart bleeds

 So I will annoy you no more
I will speak no more
I will disturb you no more
I will close the door, I will give you peace
I accept the defeat, my voice has finally ceased

I finally gave up
Will disturb no more
Will not beg for attention anymore
I will close the door, and in silence I will be
No need to worry anymore, you are free from me

Mother

The day, I was expelled
From this putrid womb
Born already dead,
Generated by a tomb
Cursed by bad blood

It took so long, but when your mask finally fell,
I saw it was a whole new level of Hell

All that time,
How could I never realize
But now it´s so clear
Your kiss, it tastes like piss
It was all never real, false bliss
You were already so rotten, even before you were a corpse

It was all just distortion and lies
Hypocrisy, under your disguise
You just stole my sanity, you just stole my life,
Infected me with your disease,
And now you haunt me, it seens like it will never cease

I will never forgive you,
For putting me into this
Such a crime, I arrived
From your putrid womb
Already rejected, already dead
Now my mind is also a tomb
I just wish I could forget

All that time,
How could I never realize
But now it´s so clear
Your kiss, it tastes like piss
It was all never real, false bliss
You were already so rotten, even before you were a corpse

Now, I´m so damaged
Now I´m so haunted
I can´t seen to get rid of you
You were a disease, still running in my veins
And I still can´t have peace
It seens like, it will never cease
All the time, all the ghosts, floating around my head
I just wish I could forget…….

Illusion

You spend so many time
Thinking you have a life
You spend the years lying to yourself
All the time
One day you finally realize
That it´s all just a illusion

Nothing really exists
The only thing real, is what you feel
The birth of the Matrix, when they crucified the Nazarene
They crucified you too
And these wounds will never heal

They stole the eyes of so many, so they will never be able to see
But if you have eyes, just keep them open
And take a look around
So easy to see
That you always were what they wanted you to be

So many keep on lying, and feeding the lies
Hiding their fears, weak, on denial
They will be lost, when all the walls fall
Unable to hear their own spirit call

Time to break free, from this prison
Time to break the chains of reason
Away from all cosmic laws, away from the system´s claws

If your inner flame is really strong
No matter how many times they sing the same song
You will still be yourself, and you will see everything beneath
Then you will come to the conclusion
That life is nothing but a illusion