Have To

I never told you
I should have already told you
But I will, hopefully, someday soon,
I will tell you it all,
All that I saw

I don't know what was it that I saw
But I saw it all
I just did not told you
For some reason I also don't know
But with all that's left of my soul,
If I have the chance, I will,
I will show
And I hope to see the forms
Behind this strange glow

I don't expect you to understand
Why I was so scared
I can't complain, about the killing silence
If you don't talk back, when I call
Don't even know why you still see me, after all
I'm a mess, and I'm sorry,
But that's what I am,
It might be not enough,
But I really do the best I can

I don't expect you to understand
How I miss you
When you are away
And why I miss you that way
But, what else can I say?

You fill my feeble being with your overwhelming light,
All your world, gives me strenght to fight
I'm not sure if I deserve such prize
But I won't argue, not this time

And when we meet,
I hope I can tell you
Exactly what I saw

I don't know what was it that I saw,
But I saw it all, even before the last fall,
If you let me share it with you,
I will tell you it all,
But what's behind,
This strange glow?

I just want you to know
I'm sorry, don't understand why you still even worry
About me, don't understand how, why you still see me
I'm trying to be better,
But I will still be what I am,
A broken jar, so long ago
But I really do the best I can
I'm sorry, I will understand,
When you go